Believe it or not, I actually started thinking about what I was going to write about on my trip to good ol' Grant, Nebraska...and on my trip back from good ol' Grant, Nebraska. I thought I'd write about how great the 24 hours with my family was. I thought about outlining [or something of the sort] the last 10 years...considering it's then end of a decade and all. -- but that's an obvious and semi-obligatory choice and a little cheeseball. I thought about detailing or trying to detail where I will start my next decade, but that is borderline laughable, and it would be a pretty short post. I actually had a script semi-thought up in my head, and it sounded pretty good, but where it is, your guess is as good as mine.
-SO-------
I'd like to start with this celebratory fact. Contrary to the predictions of my last post, I have not gotten sick, so I'm super psyched about that one.
...and in a more true-Molly spirit, I am going to just wing this.
Christmas was pretty great. I got hugs from all my favorite children. I was told that I'm loved and I got a kiss on the nose from the sweetest 3-year-old honey badger. If every Christmas could be like this, I think that would be alright. If these little humans could stay this small just a little bit longer, that would be alright too (I am sure their parents would disagree on some days).
I was so proud of myself (still am), because this year I, Aunt Molly, was a rockstar and got presents purchased BEFORE Black Friday ...and didn't get anything wrapped until the night before. So, I was not completely on top of my game, but I did make a new tradition... wine and present wrapping. I'm not a wine drinker, it just seemed like a good idea. A friend once introduced me to the Malbec a number of years ago, and it seems to be the only wine I can drink...every 7-years or so (jokes...kind-of). -BUT- it all got done, and I successfully got everything to fit in one box for the trip back. (Also, in case there's a judgey-wudgy-bear, I know presents aren't what make Christmas/Holiday Time special).
Anyway, there isn't much more I get really excited for and overly chatty about, until I know I will get to spend time with the nieces and nephews. Because getting chased around the house, and chasing those little humans in return is the highlight of any trip to Grant (sorry, Mother, but I think you know that). This trip was no exception, like all the trips before, it was more of a workout than I had planned on, and even though I said, "Aunt Molly needs a break," laying down wasn't really a break, but I don't care. They're all at that age where rough-housing is fun and being sneaky and scaring each other is even more fun. I hope they always like being surprised/scared by me. I think we have fun, and I'm 93.8% positive they think so, too.
I think this was the first Christmas I didn't make/hand-letter/art something. I'm not sad about it, with moving more than once this year, I needed a break. I do have a calligraphy job on the horizon (next week) and I'm super jazzed about it. Getting my pen out is something to celebrate! Doing a job for a friend is always something bigger to celebrate!
...and now the cheeseball...
I am not overly open about much, but I'm really excited about this part of my life, so pretty please, try to not rain on my parade.
I am finally proud of myself. I am finally proud to be myself. Of course there are things that I've done or accomplished in my years prior that I've been proud of, ahem...I don't have a Master Angler certificate just for grins! (Thanks / sorry, Dad)...but if I'm being honest, I never have felt truly happy to be myself. It's a long story, but ultimately I didn't know how to be me, and until recently I've found what I truly love, what makes my heart happiest, and what giant-smelly-rodent/skunk was causing all of the discomfort I felt in my own skin. I always wanted to be someone else and I didn't ever really notice until these last few years, and in that time I've slowly worked on finding out, and have been honest about MY likes and dislikes, what I can and cannot handle, and being stronger about my true feelings-- even if it's about Indian food, or cucumbers, or carrot cake. I might not like melon in any flavor, but I am glad I tried them or was forced to, and melon in whatever-flavor will probably always make me smile (I guess you had to be there). I still hate cucumbers unless they're called pickles and I don't like tomatoes unless they're called soup, chili, or ketchup. I actually really like clementines, and I am glad I learned that about myself. I can be a brat about cookies and coffee, but not at the same time and I've accepted that about myself (jokes). I'm not afraid to say no to the dairy, and I'm also not afraid to say yes to the dairy (shout-out to the Lactaid).
[That got lot more food related than intended.]
So much has happened in the last ten years. I feel like I am a completely different person I am now compared to 2010 Molly. At the exact same time, I feel like I haven't aged or changed a day. I mean....Asian don't raisin (amiright?).....[joking...kind of].....
The [obvious] truth is, I was a completely different person ten years ago. We all were. Ten years ago I was graduating college for the first time, had no job and no idea where I was headed in life. A few years post-first degree, I started researching graphic design programs. A few years after that, I had two nieces, a nephew and graduated college for the second time. I'm proud of that second degree. I am proud of the first degree too, but that second one...I don't know how I did it...oh wait...I didn't sleep, ever. Thankfully, it has been few years since I graduated for the second time, I am proud to say I [do] get more sleep, and drink less coffee. I also have two nieces and two nephews...and I am very proud to be their Aunt Molly. -and- they are all wildly adorable (if I do say so myself)...and a little wild (which I happily encourage every time I visit).
Between the first and second Bachelors...degrees, not dudes, I did find a job, then I got a new job, went back to the old job, got a new car, and moved...a few times. I celebrated a quarter century and a few years later, three decades, and somewhere in there I figured out the perfect way to celebrate.
As crappy as it is honest, in the last decade I lost my fair share of humans. Losing people is never easy no matter the relationship and death is a real bitch (apologies for the profanity). Turns out, one never really recovers from the death of a loved one. We just learn a new normal and continue on the best we can. However, gaining all the tiny humans in our family has added a new level of fun, increased the volume significantly, and quite obviously, added new life.
...speaking of profanity...I learned that when celebrating with others...the celebrations, or the unexpected celebrations can [and often do] come with profanity as well. I don't think I've ever heard my dad positively-exclaim the F-word, but the day I became a Master Angler, I wouldn't have expected anything but THAT from him. Also, I wouldn't have wanted anyone else by my side. [...but in a perfect world, my Grand-dad would have been there too...] I'm sure my mom thought we were crazy when we called DEMANDING she drive to the lake RIGHT NOW, but glad she did, so she could celebrate with us.
If anyone knows me well, I apologize, but you're going to hear about this again. For those of you that have not heard about this particular highlight...let me enlighten you... I am 97.987531% positive that one of my top three highlights of 2010-present day was meeting Rory McIlroy. Yes, this is me being a little big brag-a-licious. Yes, I am a little embarrassed to say it out loud....still...and probably more-so now since it's been a while. Yes, I've finally floated down from my high and I'm back on planet Earth. AND Yes, I still love him, but so do a lot of people.........okay fine...maybe Rory is in the top 5....well...10...definitely top 10. what.a.trip.
As extra-cheeseball as it may be, I honestly do not regret a single thing, and now I know why. Had I not had all of those experience in my life, obviously/more specifically in the last 10 years, I wouldn't have felt compelled to dig deep and really research myself and I would not have arrived to the very spot I'm in now. I wouldn't have the knowledge I have and I wouldn't be comfortable sharing it with the world, because let's be real, the internet is forever.
Also, three years ago, had someone asked me, "if I had any regrets," it is possible my answer might be a little different. -anyway-
I finally learned how to do my own make-up (Thanks, YouTube), and I've learned that [maybe] my Grandma Ruby was right, I don't need it (aka I'm too lazy to do it on the daily). I love sleep, and I've gotten more of it in the last 6+ months than I did in 2015-2017. It is safe to say, I learned several times that if you don't speak up for yourself, then no one will ever know how you feel or how to help if you need it. I also learned that each of us will learn what we're supposed to learn when we're supposed to learn it. How is THAT for some [legit] vague nuggets of knowledge?! What I mean is, you will know what you're supposed to know, when you're supposed to know it. Meaning, we will all get there in our own time. I always wanted to hurry up and get "there," to the 'knowing-part,' but now I know I was meant to know when I was meant to know. I wouldn't appreciate all these knowledge-nuggets as much as I do now if I had been told the answers straight away. None of us would. I learned that we're all in this together, but at the same time, we're all running our own race. It's true what they say, "you can't compare your chapter 32 to someone else's chapter 32."
These last 10 years have been pivotal all on their own, each in their own special way. The best thing I learned? I learned how to 'Molly' for real...authentically, wholly, and [mostly] unapologetically. Unless something truly warrants an apology, if so, you need to speak up, or I won't know how to help you/apologize properly. (see what I did there?) I know the next decade is going to be something truly special and I'm taking it on at my own pace. The honest cheeseball of it all--I'm definitely planning on more laughter and love than [sad] tears and turmoil. I should buy stock in Lactaid now and maybe 2030-Molly will be rollin' in it. Really though, do I have a plan[?]...not really, maybe I'll get to do the scoreboard at a PGA Tour Tournament, hopefully we'll gain more family members--full-grown, or tiny-sized...human or animal, it doesn't matter-- the more the merrier, or maybe I'll get to visit the mother country.
Ehhhhhh, who am I kidding...I'll probably just wing it.